Natasdrol haunts

dG's sister was fast asleep. Her bf was busy fapfapping while watching MTV. Suddenly there was a slight russle on the floor. The newspaper. He ignored, thinking that its the aircond. He continued fapfapping.

Suddenly the bed started to tremble. dGsbf's dick started to go limp. It shrunk from 2 inch to 1. If he do not get any simulation soon, it will be inverted.

dGs woke up. She felt the tremble. Their bed started to buck. They felt like they were the stars of a rodeo show. dGsbf begun to cower. He slide deep down under the covers covering his whole body. Head to toe. dGs too. Their teeth start chattering as if they were trapped in a meat freezer. She was scared. She thought Natasdrol wanted their soul. All they could do was to cower under their cum-covered comforter.

Then... all was still. Nothing could be heard except for the low humming of the aircond. Soon they fell asleep.

Next day, after telling dG and me about their ordeal. We fucking rotflolwluita non-stop for hours. We told them about the quake and they went *blink blink, stare cock for a few minutes* Then a barrage of the world's most beautiful language was uttered. dG and I started another session of rotflol.

Where was dS?

I was on mission to the east coast last week. My journey begun on Sunday, 20th March 2005 and ended on Friday, 25th March 2005. Now, normally I go Kota Bharu via Bentong. That is KL-Bentong-Raub-Gua Musang-Kota Bharu. Some of you might remember that I found a newer way to Gua Musang via Cameron.

So this time, I expected my trip to be at least 2 hour shorter. The KL-Bentong-Raub-Gua Musang-Kota Bharu route takes about 5 hours. What I did this time was KL-Simpang Pulai-Cameron Highland-Gua Musang-Kota Bharu. KL to Simpang Pulai via PLUS highway.

The trip actually took me 6 and a half hour!!! Thats including speeding on PLUS. The drive along Cameron was nice though. The air refreshing. The scenery relaxing.





Along the ride, theres people lining up to get some water off the wall. Mineral water I suppose. But after watching last nights Misteri Nusantara, you'll have to kill me to get me to drink. Fucking dirty with the possibility of E-Coli bacteria.



Reaching the top, I felt like I need the toilet. It was nipple erecting cold up there. I was wearing a silk top only. So I stopped here.



They have a plantation connected.



I hate strawberries. But this aroused my curiosity. Its strawberry coated with some sort of syrup. RM1 per stick.





Damn!! Sweet as sweet can be. Its so sweet, it gave me a toothache. I left soon after that to continue my journey to the east. The road became smaller and harder to manouver. Scenery changes.


See the rapes? See the destruction? Sigh...

Anyway, my mission at Kota Bharu went great. Ahead of schedule by a day. I found myself in Kuala Terengganu by Tuesday evening. Stayed at Primula Hotel again because Seri Malaysia was fully occupied. I was curious, so I walked along the beach that evening. Wow... pantai Batu Buruk is much nicer compared to Teluk Cempedak in Kuantan.





At the far end of the beach, theres an A&W restaurant where I had my dinner. Opposite it were vendors selling snacks. Like the typical seaside snack shops, they have all kinds of deep fried seafood.



Again, my mission in Terengganu went smoothly, so I was on my way to Pahang the next day. Everything went well. Mission completed by Friday afternoon.

Check out this cute restaurant name where I had my lunch in Mersing.


I literally had to try my best to finish my food. It sucks big time. But don't worry, you won't be able to find it anyway. Its hidden way out of the busy town.

You can check out the other photos here and here

Warning : all pictures are mostly taken at driveby shooting speed. pictures tend to be distorted and disoriented. taken with SET610. if you puke or feel dizzy, please lie back and drown yourself in your own puke. its not my problem.

Tremors

Midnight last night. Was doing the big one at the throne. Smoking and reading Women's Weekly. Suddenly felt body moving to and fro.

First reaction was heart problem. I felt my heart. I was getting dizzy. Is this heart attack I thought. This is it.. I am done for. My hands went up to my chest. I felt nothing. My body kept on swaying. I noticed my naturally made chocolate swirling.

Then I saw the towel in front of me swaying as it hung on the rail. My mind went hyper. I was doing 3 teraflops a second. QUAKE! my mind shouted. By that time, it stopped.

All was still. The only thing I can hear is my breathing. This is my first time. My virginity taken by mother earth. I calmly cleaned myself and took a bath. As I went into my room, I noticed dG still sleeping like a pig. Her soft purring assuring me everything is ok. I slept too.

ps : before you shoot me for reading women's magazine, i wanna say, fishermen read fishing magazines. think about it. clue : know thy enemy.

Jing wu mo sing

Also known as House of Fury. What a movie. Its like watching a modern version of a Jacky Chan movie. Stephan Fung has got much to learn about directing. You can actually see the cables on the stuntman's back when they are doing their fancy kungfu kicks.

Watch out for a wet shirt nipple effect on Natalie in one of her fight scenes. The funniest scene is the Professor X parody. Open your eyes when the camera focuses on his shadow. You'll laugh your ass off if you can recognise the silhouette.

Over all, its good fun movie for families.

Lonely~~~

I sit here alone. People watching while waiting for my dinner. The table seems cold. Four seats. Three empty.

Lonely~~~
I am so lonely~~
I have no body~~~
For my own~~~

Thank God for mobile phone. Still, it does not feel the same. People still look at you weirdly. It's like in their head, they go "wtf, pity that lengchai sitting there all alone." or "wat a loser".

I don't actually feel that way. In fact, I feel quite relaxed. The pity look from passers-by are actually demeaning though. So here... some tips when you are alone.

Makan time
1) Open laptop if you have one. Pretend you are doing your work. It doesn't matter if you are reading or writing some erotic story. Just shake your head every once in awhile.

2) Talk on your mobile. Call your parents. Call your grandma. Say hi. It doesn't matter. Act like you are closing a 1 million dollar deal.

3) Order two drinks and two food. Place one set beside or opposite you. Act as if you are waiting for your friend who stepped away for a quickie/piss/fapfap/whatever at the toilet.

4) Tapau la. Go back to hotel room and makan. No need to by shy.

Thats all I have for now. If you have any, share share in the comments ok? I need more ideas. As for now, I am on tapauing. Last night it was A&W, the night before was McD, before that, Nasi Goreng with daging masak merah and telur dadar. Thank God tonight I went dinner with my mom. Its been a long time. :)

A story for you.

Once upon a time, in the state of the rising sun, there lived an innocent chap. This chap was a good mummy's boy. Now this chap though innocent, has a smooth mouth. He can charm a stone to fly like a humming bird if he wants to.

His adventure started when he was in form 5. He got close to a baby elephant. She was as cute as the pink elephant in the Cutie Cura powder ads. They developed a good partnership. Everytime the phone rings, the chap would know its baby elephant calling for him. They understand each others eating habit. They spend time with each other even after school. She sacrificed a lot for him. She forcefully tutored him in Accounts; his one and only weak subject. He on the other hand was always playful.

As time goes by, their classmates started rumours about them being lovers. Baby elephant did not deny whilst the sweet innocent chap was oblivious to the surrounding.

They are in college now. They have separate lives. They drifted apart. One day, as the chap was "researching" with his fellow coursemate, he got a phone call. It was baby elephant. She was disrought. Her voice quivered. He asked whats the matter. She dropped a bomb. She confessed her love for him. She told him she has been in love with him since high school. He was dumbfucked. He didn't know what to do. He just uttered the only thing he can say. "i'm sorry, i only treat you like a good friend. i have never thought of you romantically.

The he hung up. He proceeds with with his "research". She never called again. It was a year later when they met at a friends party. She had already moved on and got herself a handsome prince. The chap is no more innocent. He was as bad as they come. But he felt awkward. The familiar feeling with baby elephant evaporated leaving stranger like debris. She, treated him like normal. She remembers the way he likes his sandwich. She even made it for him during the party. Her prince was cool enough to understand. He realised the importance of their friendship. His shyness replaced by renewed friendship.

Fast forward to a few years later. They are still in contact. She is now married to her prince. They have a beautiful princess. The old chap is getting married too. Baby elephant and the old chap are still friends and they live happily ever after.

-THE END-

PC Maintenance

How do you keep your PC and notebooks in tip top condition? I use a number of software to keep mine performing superbly day in and day out. I test a lot of programmes on my Fujitsu C Series Lifebook (company asset). So I have to keep my registry clean all the time. Here is a list of the software I use.

Clean My PC Registry Cleaner - this is great at helping me to identify software that runs automatically whenever Windows and my internet browser starts as well as cleans my registry from obsolete entries. Expert users can use it to clear adwares instead of using software such as Ad Aware. One complaint though, it pops up once a week to scan the registry. A tad irritating, but you can shut that feature off.

McAfee Anti-virus & Firewall - these are cool too. My firewall prevents about 8 attacks a day. Imagine that. I had never believe in software firewall. But after installing McAfee firewall, I changed my mind. Too many attacks out there. Theres one thing that irritates the hell out of me though. Every single action it does, it will alert me by popping up a window for a few seconds. The anti-virus on the other hand is good. I have had cases where Norton Anti-virus could not detect a virus whilst a quick scan from McAfee cleaned the whole system. But somehow, the review on PC Magazine (last month) rates Norton Antivirus higher. On why I do not use Norton, its very simple. Norton expires in one year. McAfee does not expire. Free to update anytime.

In addition to these three software, I of course defrag my hard disc drive (HDD) every time I backup my "prawns" and delete them from the HDD.

There,in conclusion, even if you go bareback (without firewall or anti-virus), I think everyone should have a registry cleaner. It helps.

ps - prawns = a term coined by dBoss.

dB : dS! dColl! how come every month our bandwidth usage damn high? wat have u guys been doing?

dS : huh? err *smiles sheepishly* normal stuff lur. download software. check mail. surf info. do research.

dC : yeah... same same.

dB : sure?!! *smiles knowingly* not downloading prawns? hahah... make sure ah.

*dS looks at dC, dC looks at dS*

dS & dC : *points to each other* make sure ah!!

Insipid Jusco

dS : quick quick, the express counter very the short. move move MOVE!!

dG : haiya.. u run there first la.

dS : ......

Cashier : encik, tak boleh bayar sini. express counter. 8 items or less.

dG : 8 and less what?

C : theres 15 items here.

dG : @#@#^#%^$%& theres two of us no? do your math.

C : oh. liddat can. *starts scanning items*

after scanning 8 items, she stopped. hit pay and took RM50 from me. she paid me the balance, gave me the receipt then starts scanning the other 7 items. dG reached for the plastic. C told her to wait. C continues putting the other 7 items into the plastic bag. C cashes out the 7 items, C had to scan the J-card twice, and give me 2 receipts and give changes twice. would have strangled C the damn hippo if not for my generosity and patients.

dG : so stupid! if wanna do that, might as well give us 2 plastic bags. mch this C damn idiot. waste time. @#%$#^%&%#%$%#^%^$#%@$^&$

Uniform failure

dS : dDad, wanna stop for lunch?

dD : yeah sure.. here sure got tons of SYTs 1.

dS : heh! dun go handing them my number ah. malufiying wei.

dD : *nudge* check those men out.

dS : wtf?!! men? enjoy my dunhill better.

dD : look first la...

dS : oooh firemen. yeah, very macho, but i'm straight.

dD : so am i what? do u c wats wrong with them?

dS : *stares firemen for few secs* *firemen winks* *choke on ciggy* i know... its their uniform.

dD : explain.

dS : elementary my dear dad. soldiers wear camouflage to hide from enemy in forest. thats y green camouflage. but firemen should not wear orange camouflage coz in case they fucking pengsan or got lost in a fire, at least their mates can easily find and help them. in this case, they are just waiting to be bbqed.

dD : so cleverrrrrr~~~ (like the advertisement)



ps: yeah, my dad and i always challenge each other iq stuff.

Instant Korean Noodle

dG and I was walking hand in hand in JJ one day. I whispered sweet nothings in her ear and she slapped me for being vulgar. As I turned my face to avoid the second slap, something caught my eye.


front view


back view

Hmm... interesting. I've always have a penchant for instant mee goreng. My favourite is Indomee. We decided to test a pack. Back home, I started to boil water and get the dishes ready. Then I flipped the pack to check out the instruction, just in case its different. Well, its different alright. Non of the words are English.

MCH!!! Its fully Korean. I cant read a word. I checked out the ingredients.



It looks the same, except for the dried peas and carrots. I wonder if I should put the dried stuff to boil along with the noodle. But the pictures in the back is different. So I ended up with properly cooked noodle, dried it. Put on a plate. Squeeze in the black sauce and oil and decided to not give a damn and just add the dried stuff in without boiling.

The result?


dS : honey, hows this?
dG : liddat 1 ah? u eat la. i go cook soup 1.
dS : looks like cow dung. sial! hope it doesnt taste like 1.
dG : so how? taste nice?
dS : niceee~~~ emmmmm... syok! come la, take a bite.
dG : yeah right! u think i born yesterday ah? nah, eat half of mine la.


Never again would I buy Korean fried noodle. The other Korean noodle still edible. In fact, one of my favourite instant soup noodle. Nothing beats Cintan Curry though.

Wheres dS last week?

I went to Johor. Specifically, I was in Skudai, Tanjung Kupang, SecondLink and JB. I stayed in Good Hope Hotel in Skudai. Its quite ok. Nice room. Breakfast was :P. Edible. Just edible. Here is the view from my room on the 13th floor.





Skudai... not bad eh? Damn a lot of Projet Petrol Station. A lot of chinese food. Near Taman U which means quite a lot of SYTs. Heh! dColl and I went to JJ Taman U one afternoon. When we came out, our eyes were very clean.

My sister who is studying in UTM took us out for dinner somewhere near Senai. We had some sort of Peking Duck. Supposedly very famous in that area. It was quite ok. Succulent and crounchy. Sweet a bit. Sour too. Hard to describe.



The night was still young. We headed up a hill inside UTM. It actually housed the Astrology studies building but was abandoned. From there, we can see the whole Taman U and probably a little bit of Skudai maybe further. I can identify cause its all lights to me. My trusty T610 is not good enough. Bear with me please. I will be upgrading to SEW800i soon. Two megapixel camera.

We headed back to hotel soon after. What a night. It turned out that our room lock is battery dead. That means no access. It can't read our card. We called maintenance. They tried to drill into the lock which is damn stupid cause the lock is like fucking solid metal. I wish I had some C4s with me. I'll blast the shit open.


idiot trying to drill

In the end, the guy tried to be Simon Templer/Macgyver by breaking in from the window. Using a cloths hanger and a screwdriver, he managed to open our room window after about an hour.


battery that was flat


changing battery

We checked out the next day. Headed straight to Hyatt as its the nearest to our next mission. Ahh... damn good hotel. Worth every cent. From the moment I stepped into the room... it was heaven. Lying on the bed feels like a million SYTs massaging every muscle in my body. TV is great. Bathroom is great. I had a very syok bubble bath. Every pop of the bubbles bursts every one of my stress.


view from reception


a small piece of heaven on earth


city view

Dinner time! Woo hoo!!! Buffet dinner. Steamboat style.





Actually I was quite excited with the food. But it sucked!!! Bad food! Waste money! Should have gone ala carte or go Stulang for dinner. *gag*



That is not caused by T610. They actually dimmed the lights when the live band start playing. So sohai... made us feel like faggots only. dColl had diarrhea the next day. Thank god I was ok. Maybe its cause I stayed away from the bad seafood and had most of the desserts. Heh! The cakes there is a freaking SIN!

Another sin is Muar otak-otak. Sorry, no pics, too busy stuffing my face to take pics. Its superb!!!! Superb gila-gila. Hard to describe. Heavenly sial!!! Anyone who goes by Muar without trying it is missing Muar altogether.

Well, theres my week. A short tour of western Johor.

Guess the size

LOL!!! Alright... Who can guess the size?



The answer is........

*drumroll please*







*still waiting for drumroll*






*oh well, no drumroll nevermind*






*heres the answer*









Kehkehkehkeh....
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