Bloody screaming pig!

Once upon a time. In a palace call Alpha Angle in the kingdom of Wangsa Maju, there was a prince named dS. dS was visiting Alpha Angle with his fair and lovely princess dG. It was common knowledge at that time that AA palace has a nice shopping arcade.

Princess dG found some frocks that caught her cute little sparkling eyes. So she went on to put on a fashion show for the strong and handsome prince. The princess hopped into an empty cubicle. The middle one. The one with the yellow door. It was flanked by two other cubicle. The red one on the left and the blue one on the right. As the princess changes, dS waits outside faithfully checking out the other voluptuous princess from all over the realm. He saw Cinderella's three ugly sisters with the thunder thighs. He saw the humsup gay wolf eyeing the three little pigs. Sleeping Beauty was pretty. Too bad her eyes seem so droopy.

Prince dS was checking out Little Red Riding Hood who was wearing a micromini Ferrari red number when suddenly.....

Lil Pig : "MOMMY!!!!! MOOOOOOMMMMyyyyyyYYyYyYyYYyyyyyyyYYyyyyyy"

Lil Pig was screaming for his mom with this face just 30 cms away from Prince dS's ear. He whipped his face towards LP. His eyes grew as large as saucers. He shot an ice dagger stare at LP. LP did not notice and drew in his breath for another scream. Prince dS snaps his fingers, grabbing LPs attention. LP looked into the Prince's eyes. LP forgets to release his breath. LP looked as if he will explode into oblivion when the Prince turned away, leaving LP trembling with fear. There was no more irritating screams.

Princess dG bounced out minutes later modelling her new cloths. Totally oblivious of what happened. Her young Maria Takagi lookalike face mirroring a happy glow. It seemed like she is happy with the choice she made. The couple trots of happily to the cashier and proceeded to a slow and romantic drive home in Lolita.

Company dinner

We had our dinner last night. Suria KLCC, 4th Floor, Palm Springs Restaurant, a branch of Tai Thong. Food sucks! Nothing special to mention about. I did not even get any inspiration to whip out my trusty T610 phone cam.

Service was bad. I mean, yea, they serve you, but heck, some people got the good stuff and some don't. At the abalone dish, I got a big piece together with a huge sea cucumber. I found out today that my colleague did not get any abalone at all.

Same goes for the shark fin soup. (i love shark fin, no guys, i dont care if they are going extinct) I got the lions share and my colleague only got the soup and taugeh! kehkehkeh. On the garoupa dish, I got 3 pieces and my colleague only 1. Boy, the waitress must have had her eyes on me.

The highlight of the night however was taking my malay friends virginity. Him eating abalone punya virginity la. He poke and smelt. Picked it up with a fork. Then chopsticks. Looked at it 360 degrees and sticking his tongue out little by little, giving it a quick lick then resumed smelling and poking. Kind of reminds you of your first blowjob doesn't? In the end he decided to jump into the cold water. With one big bite, he took the whole piece into his mouth and proceeded to chew. His face was a symphony by itself. Every bite he took, his face changed. From bad to worst to pure extacy. He swallowed and proceeded to declare it was good. (later he admitted it sucked and hope not to ever eat one for the rest of his life)

Over all, it seemed like a normal family dinner. Food was nothing to shout about and service was bad. There were moments of awkward silence. There were laughter all around. There goes the company dinner. Hope next year it will be better.

Tuan

I was with a high ranking Customs official yesterday. At one of the sites we visited, I got a ticket for parking without a ticket. What did he do?

He called the guy where we visited and told him about it. The guy came down and took the ticket from us telling us not to worry, he will settle it. Syok, saved me RM30.

Then we went to the next site. He went yc with his friend while I go up to settle my stuff. Later, I had to wait for him in my car. As I waited, I tidy up my backseat. Suddenly, these two SYT customs officer came up to me and called me tuan. My eyes grew wide with dumbfuckedness as I stare at them wondering why they called me that. They asked me quite a lot of questions like where is my office, what department, the who and the why and the where and the how. Fortunately, I could answer and they waved bye.

I was still wondering as I watch them wiggle their pert little ass back up into their office. Then I turned around. A revelation. His jacket with his stars and crown on the shoulder were hung openly displayed. A case of mistaken identity.

Decisions!! (venting)

Slap my face with a sliper and call me poddle poo. I am so freaking cuntfused! So many decisions. Fucking risky ones too. How to decide? How? The solution is simple, yet I keep on asking for peoples opinion.

We end up with the same solution yet I feel so insecure about it. I am CUNTFUSED!! Someone just please bitch slap me back to China. I do NOT want to decide anymore.

But I must! What to do? What to do? Flip a coin? Throw a die? Son of a gun... I feel so helpless. Why? Why must I decide? Why can't I be a robot? Just obey commands. So nice. Fuck the stupid ADAM for eating the cibai fruit that the fucking slut EVE gave. Dumbass!

*Sighhhhh* Vent puas-puas, still have to decide. I guess somethings we just can't procastinate. Please God let me wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow. I am bored with this helpless feeling. I just want to get on with my life. Make the decisions for me oh lord. I leave it to you. The steering is yours. I'll just control the NOS button. Thank You. Amen.

A testimony

This is NOT my experience. However, it is dG's and as she does not blog, I feel that I should blog about it. It happened when dG was feeling a bit on the down side. She felt helpless. She felt unloved. She felt as if she was forsaken.

Previously, whenever she attended church, there is a feeling of Gods presence. However, recently she felt empty. Even during our quiet time at home. So in her hour of darkness, she wept and prayed. She asked "God, y u so liddat? y u so liddat ah? DESERTER! where art thou, oh prince of peace?".

As she prayed and wept, she fell asleep. In her sleep she had a dream. She was standing on a beach looking at a White Squall rushing towards her. Just as the waves approaches she was lifted. She floated above the waves. Looking down at the destruction, she woke up. There was tear in her eye, but she was smiling.

Our revelation is we were saved from the impending danger of tsunami. Before Christmas, we planned a vacation to Penang. However, due to some problems, we changed our plans and took a vacation in Swiss Garden Kuantan. The next day, we read about the tsunami. At times like this, we can only give glory to God and thank him for his mysterious ways. God is good...

Classic sial

Sakai

Rusa masuk kampung. A phrase to describe someone who enters a new environment. Wondering in awe. Full of curiosity. A crude word would be sakai. We use to call our friends from Felda sakais. They are seriously in need of a technology crash course. When we were playing with LOGO, they are still playing biji getah or tag.

Kids in town always label kampung or estate kids sakai. However, nowadays, I would say kids in rural areas should label urbanites sakai. Why? Have you been to an orchard? What is your reaction when you get off your RM200k 4WD? The adults would go "woahhhhh.... fruits... fresh fruits...." and the kids will start running around screaming at the top of their lungs "mummy muumy!! i saw squirrel!!" or "mummy mummy, i want that 1. *points to the biggest durian in sight*".

Another example is my colleagues. They went to Bentong for a visit to some waterfall. They took damn kaw a lot of pictures. Even a picture of cow dung. How sakai could someone get? They rave so much about the sunrise, the cool water of the falls, the freshness of the fruits. This is really a good example of rusa masuk kampung.

Now, here is an offer. My father-out-law has a orchard. Durians, dokongs...salaks... anyone of you sakais interested for a free tasting visit? I will announce here as soon as the fruits start bearing.

Amusing

Saw this shoe/boot in KLCC. New hip UK type of shop. 913 or something.



They use to carry quite cool stuff. Especially the branch in Midvalley, but now its all Mickey Mouse stuff. Shesshh... expensive too.

But boy does it make me miss my trusty old Mickey Watch. Still tells the time like its swiss made.

Still?

My dad got a court summon last week. It was actually a subpoena for him to testify in court. He showed it to me. I was SHOCKED!



After so many years of changing Malaya to Malaysia, our legal system still uses this? Imagine how old the freaking paper is. It should be locked in the Louvre.

Delicious?

Salat

This is salat.



When my father-out-law showed me this, I was flabbergasted. Never have I seen such a funny fruit. With its snake like skin and somewhat a sweet and sour taste. I was deeply curious about it. The skin is actually hard and easily cracked. Not like orange peel.

How to eat it? Well, first we crack off the skin. Crack it all off.


Then, we pull off some soft of tissue from the flesh. Like so.


Then bite la. But remember. There is a freaking hard seed inside. Do not challenge the seed with your teeth. The only person that will profit from that challenge is your dentist. Here is how the seed look like.



Enjoy. It sells for about RM8 per kg in Jerantut. I am not sure how much is it here. Now I am curious on how the plant look like. Next trip. Next trip I will check out the tree.

Hotel Primula

Sounds like a red light district hotel does it not? I had the chance of staying there last week due to my east coast mission. Its located in the heart of Kuala Trengganu. A stone's throw from the palace.

At first glance, I was thinking, "what the heck. i hope there won't be any weird noises tonight." But my thoughts changed from the moment I stepped into the lobby.


Lobby



View of pool from lobby

The receptionist was nice too. She had a nice smile. She practically gave me the room with the best view and she was quite pretty. No pictures guys. She was too shy.




View from the 9th floor straight out the lift




View from my room

I had a nice time here. There was no need for airconditioning. Just open the balcony door wide and enjoy the seabreeze. I actually fell asleep with the balcony door open. Sunrise was really breathtaking. Really calm and peaceful. It lolled be back to dreamland only to be rudely awaken by my trusty old T610 alarm. Sigh...

It pays to be a workaholic

Yesterday. I was on a mission to Bentong. The mission was accomplished by 1130hrs. So I thought I will take the rest of the day off and snake home to catch some zzz.

As I entered KL, I had this urging to be a good dog and go to work instead. So I rerouted Lolita towards Cheras and called my colleagues to ask if they wanted to go lunch. They said, "come la. wait downstairs. we are coming down". So I waited in the basement. I was cleaning Lolita up when my boss came up and said, "park your Lolita, we'll take E200."

I was dumbfucked. Our boss do not normally join us for lunch. After all, we are only going for claypot lou shi fun. Well, we missed the junction to the usual claypot place and continued towards Jalan Ampang. I was too syok sitting at the back of the E200 to care. Leather seats should be a standard accessory in any car.

WOah.. E200 cruied into the basement of Hotel Nikko. We were to have lunch there. OMG!!! The chinese restaurant of Hotel Nikko is not bad. The service needs a kick in the butt though. We waited for about 10 minutes just to get the waitress to take our order. Even then, ordering dim sum in any roadside stall would only take a few minutes before the food arrives. We waited half an hour to get our food.

Yum yum. It looked delicious. The best dish was the Hong Kong Chi Cheong Fun. The prawns are like 5cm in diameter. Syok! I enjoyed the prawns the most because by the time it came out, most of my colleagues have had their fill. Sorry no pictures. I was too dumbfucked to take any.

The bill came up to somewhere around RM200 for about 9 dishes served 5 persons. It was alright I think. But heck, it really pays to be hardworking. Lunch at Nikko fully outweighs sleeping alone in the afternoon anytime.

My first post of the year

and here is the bomb.

dG and dS will tentatively and officially get married on the 26th February 2006.

All you girls out there are advised to NOT be sad and do not cry. Life goes on. You will have better guys. All you guys out there.... HAH! too bad. She is mine! Mine I tell you. Muahahhaha...... *tattoo "dSaint's Property" on dGs forehead*